September 25, 2010

Cursed Assurance

Theme songs: Alejandro, Lady Gaga, The Fame Monster and Stronger Than Ever, Christina Aguilera, Bionic

The reader may or may not think that it's odd that both Xtina and Gaga songs should be the theme for this post. To me, these two songs both seem largely similar in that they're referring to someone (both men, apparently) who appears to (in the case of Alejandro) wants the person in question but hurts them in some way and (in the case of Stronger Than Ever) continually reassures the person in question that they love them but, behind the scenes and not apparent to an outsider, in reality there is something really wrong going on and the person in question senses this and, as a result thereof, is forced (?) to behave a certain way.

As I am sitting here, I once more do feel the sudden urge to go and compose The Black Widow Blues but, due to the status quo, I am forced to once more procrastinate. A depressing thought, since The Black Widow Blues would actually be the most appropriate thing to compose now.

If all of the above is taken into careful account, the reader may then safely infer that this post, Cursed Assurance, is indeed in some way a continuation of the Black Widow Blues. If you've already figured this out then you may give yourself a pat on the back, compliments of your truly.

Have you ever walked into a friend's house and had the people who were already there (whether they be other friends, parents, siblings or similar) give you the omfgwtfareyoudoingherenow?!-look? Have you ever been amongst people (whether they're friends, family or similar) and felt like you really didn't belong there because they seem to be having a good-enough time without there in the first place? Have you ever been told that there's nothing wrong in a particular relationship of yours, yet you still feel like there perhaps is something wrong but the issue is a tad too sensitive to touch on? Or lastly, and I love this one in particular, have you ever noticed that your close friends do not spend enough time with you (i.e. they spend lots of time with their other friends who may, or may not be friends or yours too), but when you ask them to there's always some kind of excuse and, when you hear about all their great times, you're probably like

If you haven't experienced any of the above then I tell you this: you are one damn lucky person! Kudos to you! And if you have, well, then I guess this saying applies: life is like a vacuum cleaner; if it sucks, it's working.

I've got no intention of ranting on about my own personal experiences of the above nature, though I do feel that it would be quite therapeutic, as I don't really want to tread on anyone's toes. I am merely making an observation on the issue.

Now for the wedding: people who cause you to experience the above are like Black Widow spiders. You know how they got their names. Relating these to today's theme songs, being involved with such people does make you act in a certain way (among many other things) and, if you're the daring type, then you'd also be asking them to let you go (again, among many other things). If you really want to get the full effect of what I mean, go find the theme songs and listen to them before, after or while you're reading this.

If you may have been wondering, people who continually make promises to you that they never keep can also safely be fit into the same category. Note though that some padding would be required in various cases.

In partial conclusion, I'll say this: don't interpret the nature of this post as me being ungrateful for the friends I have, or the fact that I at least have friends, no matter how strange they may be at times. Where spending time is concerned, there are obviously many other factors that influence how anyone would wish to spend their free time; if time isn't being made for you for some reason or another, then the issue is pretty moot. And as for people giving you the mfgwtfareyoudoingherenow?!-look, well, that's pretty moot too. Not much that you can do there except for knowing your place and swallowing it. So, to all my friends: I love and appreciate you all! :)

As a last thought, why the name Cursed Assurance? Well, perhaps you'd have figured it out by now but, if you didn't think that deeply, here's a hint in the correct direction: it's good to be assured that there's really nothing wrong and it's true. If you know that there's something wrong and you're assured otherwise (regardless of whether you're simply seeing things or not), wouldn't you think of it as a curse too?

I remain, as always, your most loyal and submissive housemaid, lover and friend.


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